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Daisies

How It All Began- My Son’s Down Syndrome Diagnosis Transformed My Life

I’m Wendy and I have special needs. I’m blind in one eye, I’m overweight, I’m impatient, I can be bossy, or as I like to call it, I have leadership skills. I’m mathematically challenged, geographically challenged, technology challenged, and I can be temperamental…ewww I hate admitting to that one.

 

I am also mom to an amazing human; Matthew aka Matt. Matt surprised me with his extra chromosome thirty-four years ago. I was just twenty-three and received the news three hours into my journey of motherhood.

 

“We think your baby has Down syndrome.” This phrase caused my heart to stop and the world as I once knew it ceased to exist. I’d had very little exposure to people with Down syndrome. What I understood about the diagnosis was that these individuals looked different and were intellectually impaired. My initial reaction: I thought I was being punished for something I had done. I didn’t want this for me, for him, or our family. Sadly, my new mommy's euphoria quickly turned to shock, fear, and devastation. As I tried to process these emotions, I faced a dilemma. How would I share that my baby had been born when my news would be followed by awkward moments? I was embarrassed and ashamed. I began to grieve for the son I had been expecting but did not arrive.

 

I didn't understand at that time those feelings I experienced were normal. Overwhelmed with the idea that I had brought a baby into this world who would be seen as different, undervalued and that he wouldn’t live a very productive life, my young heart and mind began to battle with one another. I cried as I began to search for all his imperfections, the symptoms of Down syndrome that had been pointed out to me. However, all I could see was my adorable little boy with his round cheeks and tuft of blond hair. Fortunately for us, it didn’t take long for my heart and mind to get in sync, and my love for my newborn began to stifle the grief. I began to experience the joy my baby brought with his extra chromosome. This is when I knew I would do anything for my baby who had formed a tight ring around my swollen heart. The miracles began. I had a son who would love me unconditionally. Who would forgive me on my bad days, who would teach me, and who would make me laugh Every. Single. Day. My sweet boy would lead me in teaching others about compassion, kindness, and appreciating our abilities.

 

I became a warrior as I began to love, protect, and advocate for my child. I had big dreams for him before we left the hospital. My son was going to get an education, drive, date, get a job, and even marry. I was determined not to allow anyone to set limitations on him before we had a chance to know what he was capable of, before we could create miracles as we helped him reach his greatest potential. Not surprisingly, I was met with many obstacles as I pursued these dreams.

 

Sadly, one of the obstacles was the end of my marriage to my son’s dad. I found myself divorced and a single mom to a child with special needs at the age of twenty-seven. My life went from hard to harder. I quickly realized the importance of taking things one day at a time to avoid becoming overwhelmed. My son became my bud, and together, we faced each day with determination.

 

My dreams for my son had to shift as he grew and began to find his interests. Once we knew what he wanted and enjoyed doing, we supported him and helped him to enhance those skills, just like I imagine any parent does with their child. My son has exceeded my expectations and reached achievements I could not have anticipated.

 

For instance, he is an avid bowler, bowling his highest score of 198, without bumpers. He’s earned a green belt in Kenpo karate, which is two belts from a black belt. He loves to read and write and has amazing penmanship. He can quote movie lines from just about any movie and lately, he’s loving creating content for his Instagram page down.right.fun. But I think the most surprising has been having him sit beside me signing our books. He has flourished in ways beyond my wildest dreams.

 

I wish I could go back, hug the younger me, and whisper in my ear “Wendy, you and your son are not only going to be okay, but you’re going to be more than okay. Breathe! Take it one day at a time and just love your baby. Now, let’s wipe those tears and then buckle up buttercup because you are in for an amazing life!

 

”Sure, our life has been hard at times, but who doesn’t have it hard? My son has not been a burden, he has not been a punishment. In fact, it did not take long for my thoughts to turn from “Why me? Why am I being punished?” to “Why me? Why was I the lucky one chosen to be entrusted with this beautiful human?” To this day, there are moments when I don’t feel worthy of being his mom. The daily laughs, his forgiving nature, and his unconditional love have provided me with a life full of unmeasurable happiness. I would not change one moment of this journey for anything.

 

My son is my hero! He changed me. He has helped me with my special needs. He has helped me to see beyond any diagnosis and see every individual for the person they are.

 

Matthew’s extra chromosome rewrote my story, now I’m on a journey to preserve his.

 

You can read the honest and heartfelt details of my journey with my son in my book “Big People Don’t Pee in the Park- A Mother and Son’s Journey with Down Syndrome”

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© 2025 by Wendy L Hooton. 
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