What I Wished For And How I Got It

I wrote a book! But then unless you’ve been in a cave or are new here, you know that by now. However, did you know the reason I wrote about my journey is because I was told to? That’s right, I heard a voice (yep, I hear voices and I’m not afraid to admit it) that said, “Help Them.” It was so clear I thought it was my husband standing behind me. I turned around to ask what he meant, but surprise! There was nobody there. In that moment I judged myself. It’s happening, I thought to myself. this Covid thing is making me crazy.

That’s how it began. During the pandemic I received a message to write about my journey with my son who has Down syndrome. Initially my intent in writing my story was to help new moms who may be feeling what I was feeling in my hospital room over thirty years ago. Sure, that was a long time ago and many things have changed since then, but the one thing I’ve learned has remained consistent are the emotions that come with an unexpected diagnosis. Feelings of confusion, sadness, and guilt. Being the sympathetic and helpful person I am, I felt the strong need to be a glimpse into the future for these moms, to offer them hope and reassurance.

It took me a little over two years to write and publish my book. As soon as it was released, I went into overdrive, working hard to get it into as many hands as possible. In addition to all the book signings and events I have done, I email people, reach out to organizations through their websites and social media, and if I hear of stories in the news that I feel we may be able to team up with, I reach out to them.

It's a hard job! I can’t tell you how many tears made their way between the keys on my keyboard or all the blood stains on my notebooks. What I can tell you is that writing was hard, but it was a piece of cake compared to the marketing…especially when you believe in your product. And I do! Not because I think I’m a good writer (I’ll let you be the judge of that...you can get your copy here) but because if I had had a resource available to me that made me laugh instead of shed more tears, I would have welcomed it. Having a book full of humor, instead of gloom and doom, would have changed the way motherhood began for me. It could have been a prescription for success and happiness when all I felt was sadness. Yes, I did this to help other moms. However, I don’t know what was harder, writing it, marketing it, or living it.

Slowly we are making our way into the hands and eyes of those moms who need us. I have reached out to countless organizations, one of them being Jack’s Baskets. I contacted them about a year ago after seeing their story featured in the news. This organization who has a motto “You make me better” began twelve years ago when Carissa’s son Jack was born. Like many, her journey did not begin with “Congratulations.” Sadly, it is common to receive a diagnosis with “I’m sorry” or “I have bad news.”  Carissa wanted to change that. Her goal was to make sure that parents who had been blessed with this beautiful baby, also received a meaningful gift, a basket that includes toys, onesies, blankets, and pamphlets that provide information on how to help them move forward. It’s a basket of congratulations from a parent (turned organization) who has been there.

After seeing their story featured on the news, I wondered if my book should be included in their baskets. I wasn’t the only one. I had a dear friend contact me who said I should reach out to them because after reading my book, she felt it could be a good addition to the information this organization is giving to new parents. So, I worked up the courage and I contacted them.

Not receiving a response isn’t unusual when contacting organizations. I usually turn my discouragement to fuel. It made it easy when I came to the realization that these businesses get countless emails every day. But to be honest, my hopes were high with this one, so I was disappointed when I didn’t receive a response. Then…one day I did.

Based on the response, we decided to first start by sending them a copy of my book to get their thoughts on my proposal. I didn’t hear back.

But I’m no quitter.

In April I was excited to see Carissa was also a vendor at the Dear Mom conference I was attending. I worked up the courage and approached her…which did take courage because in my eyes, she’s a star. I expressed my gratitude for the work she and her amazing organization are doing. She was kind and appreciated my feedback. (Why I didn’t get a photo with her I don’t know.) Anyway, they announced recently that they have sent over 10,000 baskets globally. Wow! The great thing is, that’s a lot of families they have helped! The not so great thing, that’s more than my current budget will allow me to donate.

I felt deflated. And then…

I received an email from their marketing person that moved me to tears from their. They shared that they have included my story with Matt in their booklet that goes out with every newborn basket they send. This means every new parent who receives one of these baskets is reading our story.

I’m doing it. I’m helping new moms (and dads) but in this case, just differently than I thought—and that’s okay, more than okay. It is truly touching to know that families around the world will read about our journey and hopefully find a sense of hope and encouragement for the beautiful future ahead.

Jack’s Basket sent me a copy of the booklet. Opening it to our page gave me chills, and seeing my son’s face light up made my eyes sweat. What I learned from this is that our dreams and desires will happen, it just may look different than we expected. The end goal is what is important.

If you know someone who has recently received a Down syndrome diagnosis, I encourage you to connect with this wonderful organization so they can send one of these meaningful baskets to that family. Click here to send a gift that could make a difference to a family who is faced with a life of uncertainty.